We are a community group that curates education, social, and play events for poly and kinky folks. We create safer spaces for exploration and connection. Get weird with us!

All information is required for safety vetting purposes and will not be shared with any other entity. If you are uncomfortable or unable to provide us any specific information please note so in the comments section, however exceptions will only be made at our discretion. Membership is not guaranteed and can be revoked at any time.

Please be sure to take your time filling out this form, and follow all directions. Failure to do so will result in your application being denied, and may also result in you not being able to reapply.

If you have any questions about membership, or the status of your application please email alice@hitmeupnyc.com. Please note that turnaround is about 2 weeks.

New Member Application

What's your name?

First and last, real name please! This does not need to be your legal name, just the full name you use most frequently. Please apply as an individual! We do not accept couples/group applications.

What're your pronouns?

Is there a name you prefer?

We'll keep this one on file, you can use it to buy tickets. If you have a sponsor, we will use this name when we confirm their sponsorship.

Email address

Make sure to add hello@hitmeupnyc.com to your contacts so you don't miss anything fun!

Social Media URL

Instagram preferred, Facebook and Fetlife welcome, no Linkedin profiles please. If your account is private please let us follow you! Once you're approved feel free to unfriend us. For people without social media links we have alternate methods of vetting upon our discretion. Please email: alice@hitmeupnyc.com to speed up that process if needed, and put N/A in the fields below.

http://

Additional Social Media URL

http://

Additional Social Media URL

http://

What's your birth year?

Our events are 21+. By submitting this form you are confirming legal age.

How'd you hear about us?

Sponsor Name

If you have a sponsor (a HMU member who would vouch for you), please list their full name(s) or the email address we have on file for them below. If not, write N/A.

If you heard about us somewhere else, please explain:

If not, write N/A.

If you met us at an event, please list which one(s):

If not, write N/A.

Q&A

Let's get to know you! Please take some time to provide full and thoughtful answers to the questions below. The main reason folks get denied is because they didn't spend enough time in this section, so don't rush it. We value members who will actively bring something to the table at our events, so a few words, or a single sentence do not reflect enough effort in an application. No need to write a book, but a few well thought out sentences in at least one section below will be necessary. Feel free to share as much as you'd like, this is your chance to make your application stand out! After your application is processed we delete this information. If writing is not your thing, or you don't know how to answer these questions, reach out to alice@hitmeupnyc.com to submit a video application.

What kind of experience do you have with kinky/sexy events?

Tell us about yourself! What are you into?

We want to know about your kinky self and/or vanilla self :)

What does consent mean to you?

Is there anything else we should know about you?

Hit Me Up Consent Policy

Hit Me Up events are intended to provide a sanctuary for our kinky and poly community to feel safe while engaging in delightfully transgressive behaviors. We strive to maintain the safest environment possible. Our private and vetted events are invite-only, and anyone new to Hit Me Up must apply and be approved to attend — no guests or plus ones. We also host public events that non-members are welcome to join. If you’d like to invite a new member, have them fill out this form: Hit Me Up New Member Application. Everyone attending is responsible for being familiar with our consent policy. If you or your guest have never been to our party before, please make a point to fully understand the rules below: - Affirmative consent is required for all acts. This means do not touch without asking, and accept (and give) refusals gracefully; if someone says no, don't keep asking. If you have an established relationship with someone, follow whatever your established preferences are with that person—this means if you see people who are liberally engaging with each other without communicating, that is because they have established relationships and you should not interpret it as an invitation to do the same. - Do not interrupt or intrude on others' scenes (including approaching closely or commenting loudly) unless you have permission to do so from the participants. - Feel encouraged to politely note violations—if someone violates the policy with you, even if you're totally cool with what they're doing, it's appropriate to politely point out to them that they should have asked first and resume getting down. - No open drug use is allowed. Please control your level of intoxication if you choose to drink. - "Red" and "Yellow" are recognized safewords. Red means stop play and check in. Yellow means slow down, go lighter, or do something different. With new play partners it’s good to check in verbally after a yellow to confirm that you understand what they need. - Clearly communicate your level of experience, ability, and any risks that come with play that you engage in. - Guardians will be available throughout our events, and can be identified by the red arm bands. Respectful and consensual behavior WILL be enforced. Anyone should feel free to find a Guardian if violations are noted. - We do not tolerate racism, sexism, classism, misogyny, misgendering, transphobia, ableism, or kink-shaming. Ask for pronouns if you don’t know them. Be aware that words and actions can have different context for people of different backgrounds—think about the language you’re using and have a conversation if you’re unsure. - To ensure that we have a safe and respectful space for all our members, we request that guests refrain from culturally appropriative attire. Our parties are always themed, but the theme will never be an ethnicity. Ignorant, tacky, or otherwise racist and insensitive dress or adornment is disapproved of and can be grounds for action - you may be asked to remove said item or even yourself. If you are unsure if something is allowed, reach out and ask us beforehand or just don't wear it (no one will know!) Alternatively, feel free to come naked, wrapped in plastic—that will always be welcome. - We cannot allow fire play, excessive glitter, paint, and anything else that might damage the venue. We love those things too, but we always respect the space! - Aggressive cruising or objectifying behavior is not tolerated. Treat other attendees as new friends, and let the play follow and flow. It’s very much encouraged to proposition someone, but look for cues of interest and don’t rapidly approach and make propositions one after another. - Violations may result in anything from a talking-to or ejection from the party and all future ones, depending on severity. Sponsors are responsible for their guests and may also be subject to removal. - Hit Me Up is a private community. You are welcome to inquire as to your status or that of your friends, but please do not act as if you have an entitlement to access our space or members. Building special spaces is hard, and while we are inclusive and welcoming, we reserve the right to curate our membership as needed to maintain our flourishing community. With Love, Hit Me Up I have read and agreed to the consent policy.

Yes!

I have questions about the policy, please reach out to me.